Remember The Monk

“If you can’t be happy with a cup of coffee, you won’t be happy with a yacht”

Every time I catch myself getting caught up in the pursuit of something, this quote comes into my head. Something I have learned this year is that material possessions have nothing whatsoever to do with our internal happiness, yet somehow, most of us continue to attach our inner well-being to external things. 

People have forever made the mistake of thinking once they reach a specific goal or obtain a specific car or house, they’ll be happy, only to be left devastated once they get there. 

The truth is, somewhere out there, there is a monk in a monastery with zero possessions much happier than you. 

Equally, there is a homeless man on a cold street with his dog somewhere who possesses a lot more gratitude for the things he has than you. 

Why We Do This 

As humans, we not only have an innate ability to become familiar with higher standards extremely quickly, but we also tend to constantly want more. 

We can’t help it, they are traits that have been passed down through the ages. They were once positive things to possess, as they allowed us to survive. But in a world like ours, they only make us lack gratitude for the things we have and attach too much weight to the things we want. 

And a combination of these two things leaves us in a constant state of dissatisfaction.

I’m not saying you should give up all of your possessions and become a monk, but it’s worth investigating how a monk can be so content with so little. 

The good news is that we may not have to become monks to become happier.

Practice Gratitude 

Gratitude is something that I continuously keep getting re-introduced to, with the likes of Andrew Huberman, Joe Dispenza, Tony Robbins, and Gary Vaynerchuk shouting the power of gratitude from the rooftops, it’s hard to not take notice.

But despite all of these hyper-successful and influential people, there was one video that caught my attention like none other.

Whereas usually, these people are simply talking about the power of gratitude, this video was a woman demonstrating it. She was in a supermarket and said “I get to come in here and buy whatever I want”. Then, in her car, she said “I own this car, and I get to drive it wherever I feel like”.

That’s all it was, a woman showing a little gratitude for the things we take for granted, and that’s all it took. 

It has reminded me of the hundreds of small things we take for granted daily. I mean, we could probably randomly land our eyes on anything in this moment and feel so much gratitude for it, as so many people in the world are probably without it. 

Even by simply having the ability to read this article on your phone or laptop, it separates you from billions……literally.

So, the next time you feel negatively about something you do not have, remind yourself of what you do have, and be grateful for it. 

Choose Happiness 

As I said, we falsely attribute our happiness and inner well-being to external possessions, but what if I were to tell you happiness has nothing to do with anything external at all?

Instead, it’s a choice we make on a daily basis. 

If I were to ask you now, why you are not happy, the only thing you’d be able to do is list the reasons, so the next question is, why are they making you unhappy? This question might be a little harder to answer, but you’d still find a way.

Eventually, by asking why enough times, you’ll realise that you're the only reason you're not currently happy.

You’re the one who perceives these things to be bad, without the context you apply to them, they just are. 

Of course, the same can’t be said for all situations, like a tragic loss, but most of us are walking around with a dissatisfaction only we caused, and only we can fix.

The first step though, and probably more than half the battle, is to believe how much of a choice it truly is. Once you do, and you catch yourself feeling unhappy, reminding yourself of it instantly relieves many negative feelings.

Don’t worry, I know you’re not just going to take my word for it, to believe it, you’ll have to experience it yourself.

So the next time you catch yourself feeling down, ask yourself what it would look and feel like if you were happy, and then just act it out. But fully commit, think, feel, and act exactly as you would if you were happy.

This is a lot harder than it sounds, your ego will kick in, and forcing yourself out of a bad mood takes a lot of willpower. But if you manage to act it out for long enough, you’ll notice the negative feeling fade away, and only then will you believe happiness is a choice. 

This isn't exactly what I meant when I said happiness is a choice, but it does spark a curiosity that, if applied, can truly make you understand the power you have over your inner well-being.

So the next time you feel down, just remember all the things you have to be grateful for, remind yourself of the choice, and remember the monk.