How To Get Through The Tough Times

This life of ours is chaotic, unpredictable and mysterious. We could try our best to imagine what life will look like in the near future but it is almost impossible to ever predict it.

The only thing you can predict with any accuracy is that it will not be an easy journey, through all of its random curveballs and unexpected jabs, you’re just simply going to go through some dark times.

We’d all like to change this fact, for it not to be true, but we can’t, the only thing that’s in our control is to reduce the effects they have on us and our well-being.

And that’s the aim of this blog, to give you the tools to pave a smoother path.

The Obstacle Is The Way 

The Obstacle Is The Way, a book by Ryan Holiday that's all about the mindset of seeing the obstacles in our way (life’s curveballs) as the necessary opportunities for growth. 

It demonstrates the only true power we have during unforeseen circumstances, and that’s how we choose to react to them and therefore act upon them.

The book is called ‘The Obstacle Is The Way’ but it’s all about a simple mindset shift that teaches you not to see obstacles as setbacks, but to instead see them as part of the journey and an opportunity for growth, which is the only productive and healthy way forward.

Obstacles can leave us disheartened and wanting to quit, leaving us wondering why we have been dealt such a bad hand. But the truth is feeling this way only causes further setbacks.

Once you start to see every obstacle as just another challenge instead of a setback, you’ll start winning a lot more.

Who Are You Becoming?

This is also mindset shift and somewhat of an extension of the previous section. This is all about picturing the person you’re becoming as a result of the so-called bad times.

Every trait you would like can only be obtained as a consequence of the difficult times you so often try to avoid.

Just ask yourself, if you were to create the person you want to be, what would you have them go through to become who they are? Because it probably wouldn’t be wise to choose an easy life, it would be the struggle, the heartbreak, the turmoil and the failures.

Just see it this way, if you wanted to become more patient, you wouldn’t want to have everything straight away. If you wanted to become more mentally strong, you wouldn’t want to never go through tough times, and if you wanted to become formidable in the face of defeat, you wouldn't want the easy wins. This can be said for any desirably positive personality trait.

The problem with most of us is we romanticise an ideal world, but we do not live in such a thing, therefore the only thing for us to do is face reality and come to terms with the one we do, only then can we understand what needs doing to have a smoother journey through it.

So the next time you’re faced with some kind of setback or tough time, ask yourself how this will make you better, you'll find the answer, this will not only give it purpose but also relieve you of some of the negative emotions that come along with it.

Preparation

As I have said, the world we live in is far from ideal, it’s full of unexpected trials and tribulations, so much so that they are inevitable.

So would a little preparation be insane? Some would say yes, but I strongly believe if they’d experience the difference a little preparation can make, they’d change their minds.

So what do I mean when I say preparation? Well, it would be pretty unwise of me to suggest that you can directly prepare for things that I have categorised as ‘unexpected’, ‘unforeseen’ and ‘mysterious’. But that doesn’t mean no preparation can be done. 

The preparation I am referring to is a sort of mental preparation, to get to the point, pick an extremely difficult time that maybe you’ve gone through already, or maybe it’s coming, maybe a friend is going through it right now.

Got one? Now just think of how well you’ll be able to move through such a difficult time if you are unable to get up in the morning when you feel tired. 

Yes, I know, this is ridiculous, but hear me out. The way I see it is we have two decision-making strategies, the first is based on what we know we should do and the other is based on how we feel.

Now, relate that to an extremely difficult time, how do you think you’ll feel? Exactly, not so good.

So, the point I am trying to make is, that the more practice you put into doing something difficult, regardless of how you feel doing it, the stronger you’ll become, the less power your emotional decision-maker has. 

If you put the reps in, you’ll become a lot more familiar with what it’s like to feel a negative emotion but carry on anyway. In turn, by doing this over and over again, you’ll feel the sense of achievement of continuing in the face of emotion, so that when the real deal comes, you’ll subconsciously know what’s on the other end of not backing down.

I’m not suggesting that you can buff the feelings you will experience, they will unfortunately still be there, but I’m saying that you can become better at dealing with them.