How To Stop Hating Yourself

Do you like yourself? I mean truly, can you say that you fully respect, appreciate, love, and trust yourself? 

Chris Williamson asked a guest on his podcast, Dewayne Noel, a question related to liking oneself, to which Dewayne responded “I like me, I’d buy me a drink”.

How many people could truly say the same, could you?

And ultimately, isn't that the goal, to become someone who, upon meeting them, you’d like and respect enough to buy them a drink, sit and have a conversation with?

Respect

“The person you have to spend the most time listening to in your life is yourself. Try not to lose their respect.”

Imagine having a friend, a close friend, close enough that you’d choose to do a lot of different activities with.

Now imagine if every time this friend said they’d join you on the run, to the gym or at a coffee shop, they didn’t show up.

How long do you like this friend for? How long will it take until you just simply stop inviting them altogether? If this friend, came to you and said “I’m going to do XYZ”, would you believe them? 

Well, you’re that friend, you’re that friend to yourself. 

Every time you say you’ll start a diet, read more, start meditating, or start going to the gym and never follow through with your promises, you’re slowly becoming someone you don’t like. It may not be on the surface, but deep down, subconsciously, you’ll lose all respect for yourself. 

This is the importance of always doing what you say you’re going to do, no matter how small, because every time you don’t, you’re losing your trust.

And, if you have a collection of past broken promises, and make a bold statement or New Year's resolution, are you really going to believe in yourself?

Responsibility 

Besides being someone you trust and respect, what other qualities would you look for in a best friend? 

If your life was a mess, or you made a big mistake or were currently making a series of mistakes, would you want that friend to tell you how great you are, in an attempt to try and protect your feelings, and most likely their own? Probably not.

That’s because a best friend is supposed to tell you how it truly is, regardless of how it’ll make you feel. They tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.

And once again, you are that friend.

Taking responsibility is being honest with yourself. It’s owning up to your current situation, because only then will you be able to change it.

If you continue to protect your feelings by blaming external situations or people for where or who you currently are, you’ll never be able to take the necessary steps to positive change.

This is why we admire an honest friend, this is probably what we strive to be for ours, so why would we treat ourselves with any less integrity?

Stop protecting your feelings, start protecting your future. Start taking responsibility.

Chatter

What do you do with your best friend, you probably spend most of your time together talking a load of nonsense. It’s probably the person you spend the most time speaking to. And yet, you speak to yourself a whole lot more.

As the quote said, the person you spend the most time talking to is yourself, but alongside avoiding losing their respect, you should also avoid being intolerable to listen to.

You’re always thinking, and are forever listening to your thoughts, so what does the quality of said thoughts look like? 

We’ve all had that extremely negative friend or colleague, always complaining. Somehow, regardless of how good your mood was before speaking with them, always ends up worse after the fact.

So what are you saying to yourself? 

A person has around 60-80,000 thoughts per day, 80% of them being negative, and 95% of them being repetitive, that’s a lot of negativity.

A good friend isn’t one that continuously puts a damper on your mood, so stop doing it to yourself.

If you wanted to stop hearing such negativity from someone, you’d probably just set things in place to avoid seeing them or cut them out of your life completely. Unfortunately, you can’t do the same with yourself.

Just do whatever it takes to remind yourself to think a little more positively, maybe start journaling to take note of your inner monologue, or place sticky notes around your home as daily reminders. Whatever the method, just stop being so damn negative.

So, go like yourself a little more, become your own best friend, and become someone you can proudly say you’d buy a drink.